Wednesday, October 26, 2005

My Hero... *cry*

I think maybe I am sinking again... shit... it always happens...

I'm now supposed to be studying for my finance quiz later. It's my last of the 5. Finally... but I'm feeling really sad as I listen to some songs...
True, I'm thinking whether I'm wasting time living life the way I do... and in the process of thinking, I'm wasting time now too.
Irony

Enrique "Hero"... it's a song about September 11th. How the country fights back in spirit... as one! To me, it also shows the delicacy of life and the power of human spirit... we are all humans... "Join me in saying a prayer for the victims and their families", George Bush said this once before... I guess for many of us it is difficult to comprehend the agony and grief of the families.

A recent incident in my family thought me how important the people around me are.

So what if I get a perfect score and leave SMU. Who will be there to cheer me on? I can rely on few... I really don't know now... I'm just a confused person. while I may think of some people being more confused... cos they really are naturally... and others having no direction (cos they seemingly ignore or don't bother to think about what to do in the future)... but am I right to be thinking that way?
It may just be me who is losing direction... by thinking too much myself.

"Rainbow connection"... kermit the frog's voice is now ringing out on my computer. honestly, I really can emphatise with some people out there... in their search for a glimpse of hope. It's something intangible. I'm fortunate to have found it recently.

I was supposed to get myself thinking about the spiritual path that I'm living.
I was supposed to get myself running in preparation for my marathon attempt.
I was supposed to...

The list goes on... what i really need is prioritizing... but aint I already doing so by placing somethings above others? What if it means having to give up somethings which mean most to me.

Recently I am really lucky to get closer to some friends. Partly due to my recent depression from my dad's injury. I think I am lucky... to have my friends around.
I really would want to tell everyone... "I treasure you... thank you!"

I was reading recently on a person's nickname. "We live only to die some day". It sounds so realistic. But realism bites. Time tickles past us, slowly. As one of my prof was going through life expectancy rates recently in Class... I began to realise a good portion of my peers are probably less likely to see a tomorrow. "Where's the love" in this world... why are people not helping?!??!@?!#@?#@!

We are selfish. Men are probably selfish in nature. Everyone wanting the best and feeling jealous when others get better stuff.
It has probably been like this since the cave ages... when people lug their clubs into the plains to get the hunt... it is the one who brings back the hunt who is adored (and also envied) by the others... he is treated as a victor... but is he really?

I guess as I think more about life's mystery...
About life's meaning...
I am starting to be disillusioned myself.

I am probably thinking too much... the world is probably simple... tell me... is it.


dk scribbled
7:58 AM
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