Monday, February 28, 2005

Awaken

Awaken... Suddenly =)


dk scribbled
4:58 AM
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Friday, February 25, 2005

Batam

The data-collection in batam was really fun... at least I feel relieved everyone is back safe and sound and that we had achieved roughly what we set out to achieve... go through all the industrial parks and collect more than 100 surveys in total... I've not counted the total yet but I'm quite hopeful it would hover around the range of 100.

We moved around Batam on 23/02/05 for a day... landed at waterfront city instead of batam centre ferry terminal out of mistake... and then we moved to the batam central industrial parks to do site visits... it was quite adventurous of the guys to take the cabs but gladly we have indonesian-speaking guys/girls around in each of the 4 teams. I'm glad we managed to finish slightly earlier and we took a stroll in panbil mall and got back to Island Garden Hotel... dinner was sponsored and was at A1 Restaurant... a big marina south like makan place but it is all seafood mainly.

The day two was a bit of a slow start... the response was lower for most teams. We headed for three different sectors and got back to the ferry terminal at batam centre at 6pm... I walked over to BIDA and had a look, sadly the office was closed. But I still managed to get two brochures. Yup... in short, the trip was meaningful and I think I can now better-understand the culture and issues in Batam industrial parks.

Off to a busy day... =)

dk scribbled
9:54 AM
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Monday, February 21, 2005

Everyone has a destiny and it is a matter of searching it. 

dk scribbled
7:19 PM
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Irony

Read about the irony of bottling up one's worries...
I'm wondering if bottling it up and sending it across the oceans would let it leave me forever. Maybe at least for a moment. What if it reaches the special someone who is across the indian ocean now.... guess it would take time... more than what I've taken... hopes are dying but I need to endure it.
My work pressure is building up.
I'll have to contact S&S soon for internship.
Hoping for everything.
Everything to be right and positive... smooth and sleek... peaceful.

dk scribbled
2:55 PM
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Sunday, February 20, 2005

Friendship

FRIENDSHIP
Forgotten are the days of loneliness…
Reeling on our acquaintance… our life…
In your friendship I've realised true happiness…
Ever since then… I've been there for thee!
Never will the sky be darkened…
Dim not your stars… your heart… your youth…
Synchronous friendship beamed…
Hereafter… I've been there for you!
If this is a journey…
Please be here with me…
My beacon & direction…
My buddy & friend…

Missing a friend.

dk scribbled
4:31 PM
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Friday, February 18, 2005

Running

Am I running away from it all...
The feelings and the emotional wall...
never leaving a foot print...
never seeing a love's tint...
only sensing the heart's brokenness...
only drinking the soul's soberness...

dk scribbled
6:55 PM
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My CT "invention". 

dk scribbled
7:56 AM
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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Accustomed

To think of it I guess it is quite a normal thing to 放风筝.

But it might be too much to be too frequent a flyer.
I was really quite upset today after the micro econs... it wasn't difficult... it was just a paper of more proper analysis and careful answering... and I quite disagreed on the english part of the answers... I think it is so very off.
And then I thought I could look forward to dinner but yah.

guess what's meant to be are meant to be.

Wrote a prose-like sms and sent it off... "TAKE CARE"... guess if one reads between the lines it probably would imply and hint at quite somethings.

Why is frustration setting in again... rollercoaster... please just stop ok... thanks.

dk scribbled
11:56 PM
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Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) - e e cummings

dk scribbled
9:55 PM
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Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Lunar Calendar Day 1

Visited my relatives today at my two granny's. It was a long day. Tiring but at least I feel quite fulfilling to meet my relatives after such a long hiatus. I didn't celebrate with family relatives last year as I was in Taiwan. Trully.

This makes me think about how society has evolved.

People no longer have that communitarian spirit innate. In the past I lived in Kampungs (though I might not really be sensible at age of 3)... but the stories I hear are of family spirit and strong bonds and ties... visits were not annually but instead almost daily. As we live in an increasingly cosmopolitised world... we start forgetting the people around us. This is scarry. I guess many of my relatives probably didn't remember each other's names! This is true... quite true. Nevertheless, Happy New Year to all... cheers! =)

dk scribbled
11:54 PM
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Kakashi! =) 

dk scribbled
12:51 AM
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Happy Lunar New Year... 新年万事新！

I had my reunion dinner last evening... the regular steamboat.
At least this year I get to spend my reunion dinner at home with my family... last year I was in Taiwan and I only called home on the new year eve to send home my well wishes... and of course I called some close friends. =)
The festivity and the redness in the streets... cheers... laughters... all so uplifting... =)
Happy New Year!
Smile!

dk scribbled
12:15 AM
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Monday, February 07, 2005

Kolya

A czech movie... setting in 1989.

It began in Czechoslovakia... prague... with a cellist (Louka)... who happens to face financial difficulties and hence had to get into a planned marriage. The marriage with a Russian lady offered opportunities of $ and possibly a new beginning. Louka took the gamble and landed himself in trouble. His 'wife', being a russian citizen (Soviet to be more exacT), was given Czech residency and allowed into Eastern Europe. She left and abandoned her 5 year old son (Kolya) with Louka... as a sort of guarantee required by law.

Amazingly, Louka, who is perverted, was transformed from an iron-hearted man into a family, loving father. The journey through Kolya's struggle to break the communication barrier and to understand the complex situation... was indeed heartwarming. Kolya eventually learnt Czech and spoke Czech... Louka similarly broke out of the poverty cycle and started working for the orchestra. The new hopes of a beginning was realised with the Velvet revolution.

The mother of Kolya eventually returned and fetched her son off. Louka was depressed. But he hid his emotions... and even told Kolya (who was very unwilling to leave) that he would visit... but the truth, although being untold, is that he would never visit.

The movie ends on a optimistic note as Louka's girl appears to be pregnant... and Louka led the cellist in the Prague Symphony or something... uplifting ending but touching nevertheless... a story of how a little kid can touch and change a man.

Wonder if the innocence we all once had was indeed the most powerful thing in the world? As the saying goes "innocence is bliss". Indeed... I am beginning to wonder and marvel at the amazing journey of the 5 year old boy.

A new week! A new life. New hope... cheers!

dk scribbled
1:14 AM
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We often praise and admire friendship... but sometimes are we just simply subservient or a so-called silent contributor... where's the distinction. Valetine's coming soon. Friends. 

dk scribbled
12:57 AM
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Missing the great old days in ROC... when life is simply a matter of friends... trust... faith... 

dk scribbled
12:52 AM
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Saturday, February 05, 2005

Enjoying what I am doing...

I've got to learn to enjoy whatever I am doing.

That's the resolution!

Rather than being crushed under the huge load of commitments and the sadness of being totally neglected by some people... I guess it's time to learn to enjoy what I've taken up in the midst of trying to be better.

Whether I can succeed all depends on myself.

Noone can belittle me... all except myself!

dk scribbled
8:52 PM
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Alligator

I got the article from a friend's blog... interesting... meaningful... depth.



An alligator living within a pool of flamingoeS?

The word is "Incompatibility", the nicer equivalent euphemism is "Differences between co-habitants".

The alligator has no one that sees eye to eye with it. At the very most, all it can see is the stocky legs of the flamingoes. In the very basic sense of nature, flamingoes and the alligator have very different points of view on life. The alligator will not try to convince the flamingoes to grow teeth and impenetrable skin and impose upon the flamingoes the art of survival and dietary habits of an alligator.

It won't work, and the flamingoes are likely to think that the alligator is too different for their liking. Well, the alligator could try its very best to merge itself within the flock of pink and flurry white feathers, but... it is just so conspicuously different.

Over time, the alligator will probably grow tired of trying to be with the main flamingo crowd, cos it simply ain't the life of an alligator.

The alligator's life philosophy of "The world as you see it" is not applicable here. Cos the world is not entirely made up of greenback that bare their teeth in the swamps. There are flamingoes, and in this particular alligator's habitat, the world is full of flamingoes.

At some point in time, the alligator must awake to its senses that because it is surrounded by flamingoes, it cannot expect to use the eyes/perspective of an alligator to look at the habitat. At the same time, it must also realise that itself is not a flamingo and will never be one, so it would be wiser to drop that illusion that it can be one by simply trying to.

Assuming the alligator is a non-flamingo eater, and that the alligator has problems communicating with the co-habitants, then maybe it should, for once try the direct opposite of what it has always been endeavouring; instead of blending in, why not be a true alligator?

Perhaps the alligator should realise that it does not have to depend on the flamingoes to determine its identity and role in the natural habitat, and for once, be proud of what it is; A sole alligator in a pool of flamingoes.

dk scribbled
1:51 AM
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Peace

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can. War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace. You are a good mediator and a true negotiator. Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental. You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take. On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit. You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

dk scribbled
1:18 AM
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Hoping for non-existence...

Every minute I breathe I feel a deep sense of ingrateness and wonder and marvel at how the world can change people. Often, I ask myself, am I the one changing or the world changing?

Is it because we've reached a stage of success and so called UNIVERSITY... we are to be in this realm of our own... marvel at the world outside with tinted shades or behind our glasses or contact lenses... is it because this little bit of success or even a wholesome lot of it can mean one is special or is deserving of great respect and unique treatment? I marvel.

Today I received a msg... a simple one. That simply tore my day apart! Interesting.

Although I did meet my army friend, whom I last saw in late last year before he left for Beijing University. Some how bumped into him at Newton. Also, played frisbee and met some nice people at the SESS dinner gathering... yes.

But somehow the impression I get about this lady has changed quite drastically recently. Maybe I am the one changing, as she says. Maybe.

I think I am the one who has still not given up though some people might say... "Nobody asks you to do these... so why go through the trouble"... And it's different if you are doing something for someone and he/she says that sentence to you! You'll be devastated! Trust me there. Can you imagine after putting years of efforts into something the person says oh... thanks but noone asked you to. Maybe I am the one changing... 'cos I have come to realise the folly.

I think I am the one changing... 'cos I have come to question more things in life. I've got lost in my own messy concrete jungle as I search for the busyness that mires a friend's life... but the harder I search the deeper I sunk in... somehow I never really came out. I'm probably still sinking in. Who in the sane mind would want to spend his entire school life slogging out for research... profs... projects... who!?@%?!^!@%?@!%?!@%?!@^?!@$%@!^%?!@ I'm probably the one who changed... to be the one who is sinking now... I changed... probably.

I think I am not being respected. I think I am not being treated with the amount of importance I deserve. I think... I think... I think! But wait a minute 'cos am I the one changing to be more self-centred? Maybe I am. But can you try putting yourself in my shoes now? I've been trying my best to put myself in your/others' shoes... looking at the situation and circumstances before I make judgements. I've gone out of my way just to help some friends... from the simple act of passing a coffee/tea/chocolate during the late-night studying or simply bringing some help in the form of research and project work. I guess it's probably not me changing?

I don't know what I am typing... 'cos I'm thinking!

How I wish Descarte's meditation I was right!

If only my mere existence can be challenged by the mere ability to think. If only the tomorrow I breate can be a dream and a fantasy I'll indulge forever. If only I am a bit more appreciated... if only... I could vanish for a moment for utopia!

dk scribbled
1:08 AM
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Passionate

I am truly passionate.

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

dk scribbled
1:04 AM
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Fallen leaves never grow on the same tree again... thank you, friend! 

dk scribbled
12:30 AM
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Friday, February 04, 2005

Newton

Listening to my mini collection of music.
Wondering how I'm actually now.
A friend asked during the evening... how am I? Ha... guess I'm "fine"... really.

I had my demo class today... but I don't know why but the lecturer was not his usual style... but gladly the class is getting together and the discussions are more robust... there's so so so little a TA can try to facilitate... really!

During the afternoon... over lunch... met with David... my TA, RA-co-author... to discuss and learn the SPSS from him. He's intelligent indeed. Need to whip up the paper by the sunday.

AS class too. Learnt how to analyze Descartes' Meditation I. The entire article revolves around doubt. Men doubt whether they are actually dreaming or asleep... men doubt whether what they see are illusions created by God... men also doubt because their senses on certain occasions deceived. Indeed... men are self-doubting creatures who some how wonder about their own existence.

After AS, had FA and quiz.

Class over, my week of lessons largely over... minus the BGS make-up today.

Was supposed to have dinner with a FRIEND after class... but somehow or rather as usual... we never met up 'cos of schedule differences. Guess what's meant to be is meant to be. Doubts... can only make things feel less optimistic... just hope.

Had a short chat with Jun online... glad she's fine... feeling quite bad that I forgot her name. Anyway... really shocked She's in SSS. Yup yup... joined my SSS friends at around 9pm... with the belated Mabel's birthday cake-cutting... and then I went to Newton with them for a supper/dinner... the plans of the closely-knitted SSS... ambitious, nevertheless still feasible... wonder if I should switch... probably sticking with my Economics and Finance route... Goodnight!

dk scribbled
12:03 AM
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Thursday, February 03, 2005

First in cities... February's here already! 

dk scribbled
10:44 AM
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Rainy. 

dk scribbled
10:42 AM
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