Sunday, October 30, 2005

An interesting evening.

Friday night turned out to be an interesting one.
I was really bored and wanting to spend my evening out to chill with friends. Met GA for dinner the evening before and I wasn't particularly feeling well, and in friday's class, prof was ill too. Ha... so I dragged myself to stay out on friday evening to spend time with some friends.
*Btw, I juz took some panadol and got chased out from a GSR>.. goodness me, I'm not the only one in school for projects on Sunday... wow*
It was the first time since last semester that I spoke to my closest friend in SMU. And probably in my life. It's been a fast 6 years. We still have a bit of frequency gap but I trust her. The only problem between us is time... it's my enemy... and probably hers. We've come a long way over the many years and we can always find some things to chat or talk about regardless how long we've never spoken. It may seem a bit weird that evening, particularly since we had an episode of slight discontentment in the early evening. But I really treasured meeting her up. At one point in life, I thought I'm going to die... and the first person I sms-ed (on the way to hospital) was her... ~dk


dk scribbled
11:14 AM
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Wednesday, October 26, 2005

My Hero... *cry*

I think maybe I am sinking again... shit... it always happens...

I'm now supposed to be studying for my finance quiz later. It's my last of the 5. Finally... but I'm feeling really sad as I listen to some songs...
True, I'm thinking whether I'm wasting time living life the way I do... and in the process of thinking, I'm wasting time now too.
Irony

Enrique "Hero"... it's a song about September 11th. How the country fights back in spirit... as one! To me, it also shows the delicacy of life and the power of human spirit... we are all humans... "Join me in saying a prayer for the victims and their families", George Bush said this once before... I guess for many of us it is difficult to comprehend the agony and grief of the families.

A recent incident in my family thought me how important the people around me are.

So what if I get a perfect score and leave SMU. Who will be there to cheer me on? I can rely on few... I really don't know now... I'm just a confused person. while I may think of some people being more confused... cos they really are naturally... and others having no direction (cos they seemingly ignore or don't bother to think about what to do in the future)... but am I right to be thinking that way?
It may just be me who is losing direction... by thinking too much myself.

"Rainbow connection"... kermit the frog's voice is now ringing out on my computer. honestly, I really can emphatise with some people out there... in their search for a glimpse of hope. It's something intangible. I'm fortunate to have found it recently.

I was supposed to get myself thinking about the spiritual path that I'm living.
I was supposed to get myself running in preparation for my marathon attempt.
I was supposed to...

The list goes on... what i really need is prioritizing... but aint I already doing so by placing somethings above others? What if it means having to give up somethings which mean most to me.

Recently I am really lucky to get closer to some friends. Partly due to my recent depression from my dad's injury. I think I am lucky... to have my friends around.
I really would want to tell everyone... "I treasure you... thank you!"

I was reading recently on a person's nickname. "We live only to die some day". It sounds so realistic. But realism bites. Time tickles past us, slowly. As one of my prof was going through life expectancy rates recently in Class... I began to realise a good portion of my peers are probably less likely to see a tomorrow. "Where's the love" in this world... why are people not helping?!??!@?!#@?#@!

We are selfish. Men are probably selfish in nature. Everyone wanting the best and feeling jealous when others get better stuff.
It has probably been like this since the cave ages... when people lug their clubs into the plains to get the hunt... it is the one who brings back the hunt who is adored (and also envied) by the others... he is treated as a victor... but is he really?

I guess as I think more about life's mystery...
About life's meaning...
I am starting to be disillusioned myself.

I am probably thinking too much... the world is probably simple... tell me... is it.

dk scribbled
7:58 AM
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Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Truthfully

I was pondering about the possible ways I could have lived my previous week... i'm still one quiz shy of finishing my 10 day marathon. And it is clear that I need to find direction... studying like a hermit is not going to be helpful...

I'm now wondering how I've done so far. My eda was quite ok... presentation and midterms. MA, think acceptable. the Macro, piao-piaoz...:)
Btw, I think sometimes we are just too ignorant of the fact that some people may have some opinions about us that we never know... confidence equates to arrogance when at extremities... we ought not be too confident at times... but lack of confidence equates to simply walk-overs.

I'm thinking of some stuff... thinking... :)

dk scribbled
2:24 PM
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Friday, October 21, 2005

Friendship
~dk

dk scribbled
1:03 PM
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STAND...
~dk

dk scribbled
1:03 PM
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Painting my own world... where I am simply ?I?.
~dk

dk scribbled
12:58 PM
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Monday, October 17, 2005

In case I forget this...

Samuelson: Foundations of Economic Analysis

dk scribbled
6:07 PM
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Monday, October 10, 2005

JC thoughts... about life... *wow*

Found a few treasured thoughts that I had in JC... just sharing these...
I didn't know I thought so much in the past
Wow!!

Life

About birth…
It had long been said that nothing would be more fantastical than the birth of a child. A puzzle that had bewildered me still had been whether life begins at birth or before birth. I guess this is something quite like the "egg or chicken" question? I know it might sound mystical to some extent… but since the element of "fate" might actually be experienced in life… even before birth (maybe?)
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About death…
"The green mile" might be longer for some to finish… but death is deemed as unavoidable in the course of life. I do believe that the quest for longevity would be answered eventually by science and technology, but obsession with this quest might eventually lead to human's ultimate discourse… a mistake that would live in the annals of the human race.
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About cloning…
Recent push into cloning research had brought the world to the brink of creating cloned humans and reviving extinct species.
The pursuit of fame and glory might have actually blinded the researchers who quest for the honour of being the first to clone the human race. What's the point of cloning? Is it merely for the sake of the rich and powerful to continue their genetic codes in a pseudo identical entity?
I believe that there might eventually be a point in time when human cloning would be possible… the subsequent effects would be disastrous. For instance, the creation of a superior racial genetic code could be in the pipeline, and tyrannical governments for the sake of ethnic cleansing might exploit the cloning techniques. These repercussions are truly possible… and indeed probable.
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About abortions…
Killing of a life… however demeaning the life might be… is still sinful.
To make innocent unborn souls suffer and pay for the mistakes of their frivolous or irresponsible parents… is unacceptable. Abortions might only be tolerated under the scenarios of pregnancy due to unfortunate events (such as rape), or in the impossibility of raising another child in an over-bloated family.
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About dreams…
"Dare to dream… will to live" had been one of the guiding beacons of my life.
It is a tragedy that children grow up in some societies learning that the realisation of their dreams is a mere impossibility.
Children in many war-torn and under-developed countries had to forgo their dreams for the sake of scraping a living in their homeland… look at the children in Ethiopia in the 1990s… what do they ever "dream" of? "The possibility of living"? This "dream" is not a real dream… it is a mere entitlement of life. It is appalling to discover that as most of us in the developed world live in comfort and grow up to think of greater things in life… a greater part of our peers in other lands are losing hope and never able to realise their "dream".
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About time…
How often is it that one stares blankly into space and only realises that much time had passed upon his regaining of consciousness? Often… I presume.
An "invention" (in 2002) at Warwick University was a formula to calculate the value of one's time. The economic concepts such as "opportunity cost" and "laws of diminishing returns" had been applied by some academics to give value to time. But I often wonder what is the true value of time… it might actually be worth more to people in need… it might be worth more to people with agendas to fulfil. I believe that valuation of time might not be possible in reality.
The desire of man to travel to the future or the past… or even create a condition of time freeze had been unrealised. Should one of the three "desires" be fulfilled, I hypothetically believe there would be cataclysmic repercussions.
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About love…
Are humans born with a heart to love or to hate? The ultimate plot in a tragedy story would be when "love" turns into "hate". Truthfully, this tragedy might actually be happening in the real world.
The presence and actions of a loved one can be of miraculous impact. Have you watched films or dramas where a patient in coma wakes upon listening to a familiar and beloved tune… or upon the persistent accompaniment of his loved one by his bed? I truly believe that "love" is miraculous!
The most sacred love would be one of giving and not desiring of possession…

dk scribbled
2:54 PM
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Friday, October 07, 2005

^_^

Finally... my term break's ahead... chill and learn!

dk scribbled
6:04 PM
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Saturday, October 01, 2005

faith

I am beginning to understand the power of faith.
When one is down and about to be 'out', faith keeps one on track...
i'm looking for direction, praying... i know he'll be fine... i've faith.

dk scribbled
11:48 AM
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